Narcissistic Personality Disorder & Antisocial Personality Disorder

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior characterized by

 Five common signs 

1 Inflated or exaggerated  sense of self ( importance )  ,

2  constant need for attention ,

3 self-centeredness ,

4  lack of empathy ,

5  pre-occupation with power and success .

 

( 1.अपने महत्व का बढ़ा-चढ़ा हुआ या अतिरंजित अहसास  2. लगातार ध्यान की आवश्यकता  3. आत्मकेंद्रितता 4. सहानुभूति की कमी  5. शक्ति और सफलता के प्रति अत्यधिक चिंतन )

 

Symptoms of NPD

Constant need for attention, affirmation, and praise

Exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements

Exploiting other people for personal gain

Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of them

Lack of empathy for others

Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power

Obsession with power or success

Sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment

One can recognize NPD by looking for some of these signs  People with NPD  are typically described as –

Self-centered

Arrogant & full of pride

Conceited ( too proud of yourself and your actions & abilities )

Because they imagine themselves as superior to others, they often insist on possessing items that reflect a successful lifestyle.

Despite this exaggerated self-image , they depend heavily on constant praise and attention to maintain their self-esteem.  As a result , individual with narcissistic personality disorder are usually very sensitive to criticism, perceiving it as a personal attack

 

 

 

Antisocial Personality Disorder:

 Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a condition characterized by a lack of empathy and disregard feeling for other people.

Symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder -

 Symptoms can start in childhood , such behavior may include fire setting, cruelty to animals, and difficulty with authority.

They often face legal problem because they don't follow rules and ignore rights of other people .

They frequently act impulsively and don’t think the consequences of their actions.

They can be aggressive and irritable, which may lead to physical fights.

Have difficulty to feel empathy for others .

Poor or abusive relationships with others and they might abuse or neglect their children.

Frequently lie and deceive others for personal gain .

No feeling of guilt and regret about something they did in past or before . 

 

Diagnosis of ASPD

 Symptoms of antisocial personality disorder often begin during childhood,

Disregard for the safety of the self and others

Failure to obey laws

Impulsive behavior

Irritability and aggression

Lack of remorse for actions

Love Bombing

 

Love Bombing

 

 Tactic often used by narcissists, abusers, even cult leaders or borderline personality disorders people — form of emotional manipulation in which someone showers another person with excessive affection, attention, complements or praise and make other feel to trust them quickly – to eventually control them  

People use love bombing in relationships Because –

to control , to gain or to regain or exploit them  

Make recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person-

To gain power and control over their partners

To gain the upper hand over a new partner and increase his or her dependence on the bomber.

To manipulate their victim for selfish needs and wants

 Note - love-bombing behavior is often linked to individuals who have low self-esteem, display narcissistic traits, or insecurity  , Fear of rejection

 

 

Four stages of Love Bombing Cycle

 

Stage One - Idealization Stage

 Making Victim feel good and boosts victim self esteem as well as making them feel dependent upon and obligated to LoBo  and gaining trust and affection from Victim by doing –

Excessive expressions of Constant or over Communication of their feeling about Victim  -

Contacting frequently to Victim - through text , calls , social media or insist on seeing you all the time ( and become upset if Victim not respond immediately or say no )

( purpose behind this is - LoBo make it difficult for Victim to spend time alone or with Victim’s friends and family )

Excessive praising & flattery or affection expressions and gifts-

Shower Victim with gifts , compliments , attention right from the start of the relationship to make you feel special & appreciated

( purpose behind this is – Love Bomber create the idea that Victim  “owe them ” which they will likely use to manipulate Victim later. )

 

Expressing intense feelings quickly & Future faking -

They might tell you they love you and don’t know what they will do without you , quickly to pressure you into committing to the relationship. Talking about deep commitment, future plans, and being in love quickly within a short period of time of knowing you like after 3dates they say ur my soulmate

( purpose behind this is – that to make Victim feel that LoBo is only world to them )

 

Stage Two - Devaluing

 Once the initial love & faith is established - Idealization phase over , and Victim fully attached in love , loyal and deeply involve in the relationship then mask start to slip and next stage of devaluation begins.  And hot and cold behavior starts . Now Victim start noticing the  partner action are not matching with what he/she told or did

 

Criticism/put-downs - LoBo start to criticize and nitpick their partner, making Partner feel low in self-esteem to gain complete control over Partner

 

Hot/cold behavior – LoBo begins withdrawing his / her  affection and also breadcrumb to their partner ( By using phrases such as, “I can’t live without you” and “You’re the only one who understands me.” ) .  Victim may feel like one minute he/she  experiencing an amazing relationship high and the next Victim feel miserable

Manipulation – also includes various types of psychological manipulation ( gaslighting , giving the silent treatment , guilt-tripping )

Anything that goes wrong in the relationship LoBo only blame on Partner & keep complaining to maintain control over Partner . Here LoBO plays self victim role , making Partner feel responsible for their emotions , using past events to manipulate , controlling Partner feelings and actions. As a result Victim ( partner ) start guessing / thinking about self which break Victim down his/her self-esteem .

  

Stage Three -  Discarding-

Once LoBo is no longer getting what they need from the relationship & Once they feel the relationship is no longer useful then - they start discarding their partner & looking for new supply . Lobo change their behaviour quite cold , no care no praise only find faults & blame , avoids taking responsibility   . So LoBo move on or create situations that Partner leave LoBo ( purpose is to move on ) . They move on to the next person quickly  so - they end it and start the same cycle with the next person.

 

Jealousy and possessiveness-

The love bomber may accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful. They monitor your social media use , also ask frequently - where you are or what you are doing, and restrict you to meet certain people or going to certain places.

 

Isolating the other person-

They demand your attention and time and try to isolate you from your family and friends and don’t like that you even meet them (for example, they may become angry and make you feel guilty for making plans with others). . They might do this by telling you they no longer want you to see certain friends or family members. Alternatively, they make attempt to isolate you by telling little manipulated facts or talking negatively about others so that you change your perception of them

 

frequent contact with you or see you a lot, leaving little room for other activities or friendships .

 

They always demanding and don’t like to listen “ No”

 

 

Stage Four - Hoovering

 

This stage involves LoBo trying to maintain contact and stay close to their partner. Offering sincere apologies or using other manipulative methods to enter back into their Partner lives . Try to prove how much they have changed , or claim they will never find anyone that compares to you or  flaunt

Note - If the hoovering is successful then Love Bombing can begin again and the cycle of abuse continues.

 

In short  - Relation based on manipulated things , fairytale romance and grand gestures don’t last for long . LoBo/Narcist  have an over inflated sense of self importance and an excessive need for attention and adoration & supply of attention and validation , and they present their false image and later their mask soon slips.

After the love bombing stage or Rosy Days gone , it's common for the intensity of the relationship to decrease. Because love bombing is artificially created behavior which can not be sustainable in the long term. The love bomber may struggle to maintain the same level of attention, affection, and grand gestures they displayed during the early stages of the relationship. The target get to the intense emotions and feelings of attachment created by the love bomber , when rosy days gone then reality appears

 

 

 

Breadcrumbing in Relations

 

 

Breadcrumbing

 

Someone who is breadcrumbing is leading you on with little morsels of encouragement—just enough so that you don't give up on the relationship . Move toward this person , and they will move away . But if you withdraw, the person will ramp up their breadcrumbing again. A breadcrumber doesn't like or intend to commit.

 

किसी व्यक्ति को थोड़ा-थोड़ा ध्यान देकर या थोड़ी थोड़ी चीजें देकर उनकी अपने में रुचि बनाए रखना ताकी वो  चला ना जाये और साथ में उस रिश्ते को सही मायनों में विकसित भी नहीं होने देना।

 

जैसे - कभी-कभी संदेश भेजना  , छिटपुट तारीफ करना  , अनियमित रूप से संवाद करना शामिल होना कुछ कर देना  ताकि वह व्यक्ति जुड़ा हुआ महसूस करे  ! 10% करना और 90% लेना ! Like out of 100 they keep on saying/doing 10 things which they did good ( which is true too and opposite person cant deny ) but 90 they did / said wrong ( this they don’t accept and make excuses or go in Gass light mode ) so 10:90 ratio relationship get toxic

 

 

Way to Live Life

 

Gayatri Mantra

गायत्री मंत्र

अस्य श्री गायत्री मंत्रस्य

विश्वामित्र ऋषिः 

गायत्री छन्दः

सविता देवता जपोपनयने विनियोगः

ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्.

गायत्री मंत्र ऋग्वेद के छंद 'तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्' 3.62.10 और  यजुर्वेद के मंत्र  ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः  से मिलकर बना है .

ऋग्वेद का गायत्री छंद और गायत्री मंत्र में अंतर है -

ऋग्वेद के छंद

'तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्'

यजुर्वेद के मंत्र

ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः

ऋग्वेद के इस मंत्र में सविता-सूर्य-प्रकाश-ज्ञान की उपासना है इसलिए इसे सावित्री भी कहा जाता है।

यजुर्वेद का मंत्र 'ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः' ज्ञान के सम्पूर्ण धरातल को स्पष्ट करता है. इसलिए किसी ब्रह्म तत्त्व को पूर्ण रूप से जानने वाले ऋषि ने विश्वामित्र ऋषि के गायत्री छंद में लिखे मंत्र के साथ यजुर्वेद  के मंत्र ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः को जोड़कर मानव जाति को एक अद्भुत मंत्र प्रदान किया. इस गायत्री मंत्र में ऋग्वेद से लिया भाग गायत्री छंद में है इसलिए इसका नाम गायत्री पड़ा. इसे श्री गायत्री देवी के स्त्री रुप मे भी पुजा जाता है। 'गायत्री' एक छन्द भी है

ऋग्वेद के सात प्रसिद्ध छंदों में एक है गायत्री छंद। इन सात छंदों के नाम हैं- गायत्री, उष्णिक्, अनुष्टुप्, बृहती, विराट, त्रिष्टुप् और जगती। गायत्री छन्द में आठ-आठ अक्षरों के तीन चरण होते हैं। ऋग्वेद के मंत्रों में त्रिष्टुप् को छोड़कर सबसे अधिक संख्या गायत्री छंदों की है। गायत्री के तीन पद होते हैं (त्रिपदा वै गायत्री)। अतएव जब छंद या वाक के रूप में सृष्टि के प्रतीक की कल्पना की जाने लगी तब इस विश्व को त्रिपदा गायत्री का स्वरूप माना गया।

इसके ऋषि विश्वामित्र हैं और देवता सविता हैं

ऋग्वेद के छंद तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात् । इसका अर्थ देखिये आप स्वय जानंगे कि यह केवल निदेश है, मार्ग दर्शन है.

          तत् : उस
          सवितु: : सविता-सूर्य- प्रकाशक- ज्ञान
          वरेण्यं : वरण करने योग्य
          भर्ग: : शुद्ध विज्ञान स्वरूप
          देवस्य : देव का
          धीमहि : हम ध्यान करें
          धियो : बुद्धि को
          य: : जो
          न: : हमारी
         प्रचोदयात : शुभ कार्यों में प्रेरित करे

यजुर्वेद के मंत्र ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः

          भू का अर्थ है स्थूल,पृथ्वी,शरीर 

          भुव का अर्थ है चिन्तन  

          स्व का अर्थ है सुख -प्रसन्नता

अस्य श्री गायत्री मन्त्र विश्वामित्र ऋषि गायत्री छंद सविता देवता आत्मसाक्षातकार  अर्थे जपे विनियोग |

ॐ : सर्वरक्षक परमात्मा

भू:प्राणों से प्यारा      /     मनुष्य को प्राण प्रदाण करने वाला  /     पृथ्वी , स्थूल 

भुव:दुख विनाशक /     दुख़ों का नाश करने वाला                /     चिन्तन  ,  सूक्ष्म

स्व:सुखस्वरूप है /     सुख़ प्रदाण करने वाला                 /     सुख -प्रसन्नता , कारण

तत् :उस        /     वह                                  /     उस

सवितु:उत्पादक, प्रकाशक, प्रेरक   /   सूर्य की भांति उज्जवल     /  सविता-सूर्य- प्रकाशक- ज्ञान

वरेण्य :वरने योग्य              /     सबसे उत्तम              /     वरण करने योग्य

भुर्ग: :शुद्ध विज्ञान स्वरूप का      /     कर्मों का उद्धार करने वाला   /     शुद्ध विज्ञान स्वरूप

देवस्य :देव के                   /     प्रभु                     /     देव का

धीमहि :हम ध्यान करें         /     आत्म चिंतन के योग्य (ध्यान)     /     हम ध्यान करें

धियो :बुद्धियों को                /     बुद्धि, यो                /     बुद्धि को

य: : जो                      /     जो                      /     जो

न: :  हमारी                   /     हमारी,                   /     हमारी

प्रचोदयात : शुभ कार्यों में प्रेरित करें /     हमें शक्ति दें          /     शुभ कार्यों में प्रेरित करे

Another meaning

Bhu  (Earth, Consciousness of the Physical Plane), the world in which we live . it covers Mooladhar and swadhistan manipur chakra )

Bhuvar  (Antariksha,The Intermediate Space,Consciousness of Prana) it is the space in which material worlds exist (anatha , vishudhi chakra )

Swar (Sky, Heaven, Consciousness of the Divine Mind),highest planes of existance  (ajna and sahasrara chakra)

Dhimahi we meditate upon ,I Meditate on   - ( so what do we meditate upon )

Tat Bharga       (what we have to meditate upon )that brilliance or  Divine Effulgence, - (so what kind of brilliance )

Vareniyam Bharga  highest kind of brilliance - ( whose brilliance is this )

Devasya         of the divine entity - ( which divine entity) - ( of which divine entity )

Tat Savitu (Savitri, Divine Essence of the Sun) which is the most Adorable, -( which give birth to life )  - ( so why do we meditate on it )

Prachodyat     so that it may propel or drive - ( so drive what )

Nah Dhiyah     our minds (our dhi) or our Intelligence (Spiritual Consciousness). 

in which direction it propel - thats from  bhu bhuva suvaha

                                         from gross to subtle and subtle to causal

                                         from downward to upward

                                         from mooladhar to sahasrara  

Common mistakes -

bhur , bhargo its bha भ not ba ब

Devasyo  its da द not dha ध

Dhimahi  its dhi  धी not di दी

Dhiyo  its dhi  धी not di दी

the word स्व: Swaha its  Sa स  not Su सु this is very common mistake  all most all the person do

ॐ तत्त सत्त 

One become many and many become one

How one become many and many become one 

all is the maya of supreme divine 

Oneness 

Dhrama / Religion

Dhrama / Religion

The word dharma and religion are seems to be same and as we all accepted the meaning of the word as same in our daily life but in real it is not correct, both have different meaning in their own . The science of spiritualities developed first by Indian (Bharat before) Rishies long time ago to this mankind that’s why in India we have so many words in our spiritual system which till now we don’t have exact meaning in english or in other languages may be some can find in latin language but many are absent there also. That’s why so many Hindi/Sanskrit words are accepted as it is in oxford dictionary  

Etymology

Dhram  is Sanskrit word and is drived from dhatu shabd  Dhri or dri  which means dharan karna to adopt /to hold / to keep

Now here we have questions in our mind – what to adopt? What is to hold ? and what is to keep ?why to adopt , why to hold ? why to keep?

Religion is English word derived from latin word religare or religio which means to bind

And here we have question like – what is to bind , whom to bind and why to bind?

(Well to bind it feels something have bondage and no one want to have bondage every one wants to be free , how it would feel if we say well come here and you have to bind yourself with this of that because we are free will being and binding ourself is sounds like bondage . or it is force to bind  )

So dhram is not any connection to religion in any sense .and I will use term dhram instead of religion here . so dhram is not for any hindu , christian, muslim or budhist but  it is common to all human or mankind before now and in future too. Dhram is humanity and living with the nature around us. Dhram is rule and law or injunctions in order that we may not degenerate and not get pain n suffering from bodily , mentally and spiritually form  . Dhram is duty of being to the nature and surrounding for the benefit of ourself , society and mankind to attain bliss and to know the true nature of self. And by which our sorrows ,pain and misery vanish and attain bliss n get god.

Now question arise where are those rules n duties come from and who made it ? well the answer to this is very simple , human is incomplete because  human are made as and image of thee, so human is incomplete in his own and have limitations of everything like his senses , body and mind , even human cant compete animals who are consider as lower being to human . So what ever human will make it would be incomplete that’s why things needed to be amended on time to time which are made by human . eg advance versions of apple phone , aircrafts , and other technology etc . So human is not cabable to give any rule n law which was same before now n in future too . now who made those law n duties ? they are given by god itself . and promoted by son of god n other saintly and divine people

One verse in Sanskrit from classics text says:

आहारनिद्राभयमैथुनानि सामान्यमेतत्पशुभिर्नराणाम् ।

            धर्मो हि तेषामधिको विशेषो धर्मेण हीनाः पशुभिस्समानाः ॥  

’Eating, sleeping, fearing and mating – human beings have these in common with animals.  What distinguishes them from animals is dharma.  Those devoid of dharma are no better than animals’

The Supreme Importance of Dharma in Sustaining the World

Decline of dharma  and ascendancy of adharma ( the opposite of dharma) will result in such chaotic conditions and destabilization on the Earth that the Lord Himself comes down in human form to re-establish the reign of Dharma.  Lord Krishna says :

        यदा यदा हि धर्मस्य ग्लानिर्भवति भारत ।

        अभ्युत्थानमधर्मस्य तदात्मानं सृजाम्यहम् ॥

        

        परित्राणाय साधूनां विनाशाय च दुष्कृताम् ।

        धर्मसंस्थापनार्थाय संभवामि युगे युगे    ॥

’whenever there is decline of dharma and ascendancy of adharma,  I take birth Myself on this Earth to establish the rule of Dharma.  In every Yuga I incarnate myself to protect the virtuous and destroy the wicked.’

Sankara’s definition of Dharma

The first Sankaracharya defines dharma in the following words:

                अभ्युदयनिःश्रेयसकारणो चोदनालक्षणो धर्मः

That which the Sruti (the  Vedas) prompts us to do and which will result in our material and spiritual advancement is dharma. 

Dhram is to accept, to adopt, to keep,  or to follow the gods instructions and to know god and to love god. Dhram is that which can not be separated from that thing. Eg. We say dhram of fire is to burn itself n to burn other things and gives light here we can not separate light or burn from fire.Dhram is Sanatan ( eternal) so our dhram is Sanatam Dhram and now it become hindu dhram

According to Sankhya Darshan – dhram is that which protect is from three fold of suffering that’s disease , unhappiness and ignorance

Here our classics don’t talk about love and texts not mix up love with dhram because if we talk about love we will look for love only and keep searching so text only talk about keep or hold of follow such rules and law to make our life get rid of all kind of pain n suffering and get bliss and god . So if we do this what remain is that is only love , love comes automatically no need to search. This is the greatness of Indian system of thought our rishis went deeper n subtler.

Now in modern world dhram become religion and has taken new shape and it comes in hand of community because of hate n jealousy among them and every community has their own religion and even in same community have more sub religions and they all make their own interpretation according to their own benefits and forget the origin sense. That is why now theres no love in society even some religion talks only love . Religion never be hindu chrstian muslim jewish budhist etc.. like the heart of human is same in the body for everyone heart never be hindu muslim christian budhist every human heart work same beats n pump the blood

  

…..contd.