Symbiotic Relationship

“  Divine force  has designed and programmed his creation that one being support or depends on other by the means of Love &/or Socially connected for their survival and get benefited to ascend towards to his Source   ”

 Symbiotic Relation -

Two creatures live together in harmony with each benefits from the other’s existence 

 

Inhuman	In other beings
it is relationship	it is dependency
Human in a relationship needs each other for Material , Psychological, Emotional , Social support ( Body Mind Soul level ) .	Living organisms survive better when they are inter-connected
Business which  depend on one another for the benefit ,	Non- Living  - one material with other material makes other material for the benefit of Human society

 

Symbiotic marriage

Marriage or partnership of co-dependency in which the person is entirely depend upon each other for the gratification of their needs like Psychological, Material needs ( Body Mind Should Needs ) and get benefited

Types of symbiotic interaction /  relationships

 Mutualism –  Both species benefit from the association of each other. If one of the species is removed from this interaction then the population of the other species could not survive. So it is like made for each other or soul mates

 In humans its like couples / soul mates , true attachment of love care compassion between any relations

 Humans and Gut Bacteria

 Crocodile and Plovers  - Plovers are dentists to crocodile . Plovers use their beak as toothpicks on crocodile teeth and eat all the food / meat or even plaque which stick in their teeth when crocodile open their mouth while on the river side which protect the teeth of crocodile to get damaged

 corals and fish - Corals provide refuge and safety to fish from their predators and Fish help corals by eating plants like seaweed which harm corals

 Goby fish and shrimp  - Because of the very poor eyesight of shrimp and they can’t  see their predators so  goby fish alert shrimp about the danger so the both hide in the same hole which is only made by shrimp

 Honey bees and flowers  - bees get their food from the flowers  and help flowers to pollinate

 sea anemones and clownfish – Clown fish attract the other and anemones catch them and left over is consumed by clownfish and in return clown fish help anemones to repair and clean their tentacles for the next prey

 Ants and Aphids – Ants the poo of Aphids provide honeydew to Ants as their food and in return Ants protect them

 

Commensalism – One benefits and other is unaffected like neither helped nor harmed

It is a one-sided relationship . One lives with & / on /in  another  in the form of the host but this interaction neither benefits or harms the host .

 In Human its like Gas lighting ( Click Here ) 

 Remora and Other big fishes like whales / Sharks -  Remora enjoys - Free rides and eat left overs of whales or sharks

 Cattle and Cattle Egret – Egret get benefited by eating incest’s which on Cattles body or who comes near

 Oxpecker and Zebras or Rhinos – Birds lives on animals and eat all the bugs and parasites

 Mites attach themselves to larger flying insects in order to get a free ride.

 hermit crabs, which make their homes out of the shells of deceased snails.

 

Parasitism – One benefits and other is harmed ( but not kill the host )

One who get benefited is called Parasites at the cost of other which is called Host . Parasite are usually smaller than the host that’s is why they don’t kill the host

 In human its bitter relation one take advantage of other at any cost ego and other material things are the base 

 Cowbirds and yellow birds or other similar birds – Cow birds are brood parasites they never make their own nest and lay their eggs in other birds ( as Host ) nest and host parents take care and feed the eggs n chicks of cowbirds  

Ticks and Dogs

Mosquitoes and Human

Pathogenic bacteria or virus on body

Roundworms found in humans

Dogs and cats

 

Competition - One  competes with another for the same resources like food land mate  .The competition may be intra-specific ( between organisms of the same type ) or inter-specific ( between organisms of different types )

 In human its pride with jealousy – मेरी साडी उसकी साड़ी से सफ़ेद कैसे , he has Maruti I will but KiA  , she have the diamond set in gold I will buy diamond in platinum, he is the topper this year so I will do more better than him and let him out from competition

 Male birds/animals fighting other male for mate

Trees in dense plant populations compete for sunlight

 

Predation – They kill their host

one depends on the survival of other . Predator survives by killing and consuming other as their prey

Higher tropic level animal hunts herbivores or lower tropic level animal

Like the culprit survives or gets released by killing their witness 

 In humans its like bitter enmity in relations

Snake and Rat

Cat and Mouse  

 

हरि-ॐ

ॐ तत्त सत्त

Pet Peeves in Relation

 

Pet peeves in relations

 Not taking part in home chores –

Like - Not helping in cooking , cleaning , grocery shopping , declutching not cleaning the toilet keeping things here and there not on right place , leaving wet towels on bed or sofa , throwing shoes all over the floor . And if comes home late every day or work on holidays or spending time in mall after office to avoid all of these responsibilities . Making a mess while cooking and not cleaning it up

 Keeping score  -

Like   I made dinner 4 times this week , and you made it only 3 times , or He left me on situations , now I will do the same or If she can like her ex’s picture , so  why can’t I ,    Playing tit for tat game in relations

 Different food preferences –

Strict vegan , Vaishnav – married ( dating ) with non-vegetarian or if one veggi  and one non -  then eating non veg like chicken or onion garlic every day and / or hate that food which other love

 Being clingy & attention seeker  -

Like childish nature , wanting more & more hugs and kisses or romantic words or constantly asking for attention

( well all of this appears to be cute & lovely  when two people go in relation initially whether in dating or marriage . But once the initial rosy phase is over and even then still craving for such those things )

 Annoying behavior  -

Like weird laugh or making face or lifting nose or frowning in the middle of a serious discussion or group prayer or quiet place . Opposite expression in between social gathering conversation

 Always on their phone  -  Like –

Habit - Carrying phone everywhere from washroom to bedroom to the dining table to kitchen or as if they are protecting some big state secret in it . result of this - It makes feel that living with the walking shadow of a person who hardly ever looks up from the screen or pays attention partner things like conversation , looks etc.

 Always checking on Spouse phone or acting jealous –

Like ask spouse phone in the name of - playing games or ordering food or checking something or my net or network is not working

 Obsessive cleaning  - 

Not putting the things back from where it was like forgot the exact spot and the angle it was placed in while putting it back .

 Arguing in public   - 

tendency of creating scenes in public spaces over the smallest issues . Letting people around - know about personal matters or he did wrong or culprit  or Criticizing their partner in public

Talking / detailing personal issues with friends  - 

There’s nothing wrong with close friend. But if a person do that all the time ( that will put relation in problem )

 Not showing interest in your interests  - 

Putting friendship or other relatives above own personal relation - Ignoring partner and give importance to own Family or friends or even Ex  or Still Friendly With Exes 

 Constantly Comparing your Relationship to Others - 

Every person have their own experiences, and it is not like that if something works for another couple doesn't mean it will work for others too  , Complaining / Broadcasting the details of the relationship on social media , Sharing Partner Flaws With Others , Oversharing about your relationship with everyone else

 Parents being too involved in their relationships or involving own parents in personal relations ( too much or even small petty issues ) - Gossiping or Talking negatively about  in-law’s and family

 Difference in apology language / repentance in actions   - 

Like by saying instantly  “ OK I am sorry for hurting you ” so now wash the hands off from matter. ( अच्छा sorry बोल दिया ना अब  - इसमे इतना भी क्या हो गया ) And intention behind this is to make other not to say or talk on that matter even he/she is right or want to solve the issue .

 Bad personal hygiene like smelling body , dirty inner wear including sox , not washing up after intimacy

 Letting your partner make all decisions or Letting Me take all the decision , Trying / forcing to make you agree with their views . ( and if not agree then creating scenes / arguments and tantrums )

 when they’re trying to talk on topic then keep Interrupting their partners by speaking on other things continuously so their partner forget the topic because he/she don’t like the topic or its negative for them

 Nagging

Being bossy

Using babyish nicknames in public

Procrastinating

No sense of gratitude

Being unfaithful  Dishonesty Breaking promises  

too much partying or drinking

Being late all the time and then saying its Normal

Talking in sarcastic way / ताने मरना / तानों में बात करना !

 Calling repeatedly when you are not answering or calling or sending Msg when other is busy

 Bad Table manners - Chewing with an open mouth and making sound while eating

Not taking any responsibility for problems in the relationship

 Not paying for things (for dating)    -  Like – always crying or बहाना मार देना that I have no money or I forget my wallet or I have but this money is for my dad or mom or one person leaves to take a phone call or went washroom just when the check is about to come

 Stealing from wallets or eatables portions   ( Roomies or GF – BF )

 कुछ भी दे दोगे इनको और तो भी in last they will say what you did for me just nothing और ये तो सारी दुनिया करती है कुछ नया थोड़ी ना किया है मेरे लिए !

कितना भी कर दो कभी खुश नहीं होते ( but in reality they did nothing or just 5% )

 GL feel that he or she don’t like this or that or things going not in his or her favor when someone is talking normally to them  then they quickly say – their favorite words

why your are arguing , mind your tone , you don’t respect , and making other quite or provoking other then argument start  and stop talking on base point and then GL in situation of blaming n defending n giving clarification

 Deafening silence -

silence or lack of response, when people expect you to speak or act

no reaction or response to something that was said or done.

Passive Aggressive Behavior ( click here) -

 

Taurus People Personality

 

Passive Aggressive Behaviour

 

Passive aggressive 

     Back

Passive-aggressive behavior is a type of aggression that is not direct and is expressed subtly in actions or words. Or to express anger and related emotions without directly communicating these feelings .

Instead of getting visibly angry, express hostility / anger in calm or detached manner or in action or behavior or even words to hurt and confuse their target . They have ability to deny that their behavior is aggressive.

Without open up about feelings of anger, frustration, disappointment – they say these kind of words like   “ as you wish “ , “Sure / ok , whatever ” or “ Yes , that’s fine ” — but internally , they feel quite opposite.

 

Recognizing passive-aggressiveness

 

1 -  Silence , bitterness, hostility, resentment when other people make requests

2 - Pouting , sulking , giving silent treatment when things don’t happen as their  planned way

3 – Intentionally delaying , making mistakes , working less than efficiently when they don’t want to do something or showing procrastination or pretending forget about things जो कि पहले नहीं थे

4 - frequent complaints about feeling unappreciated , misunderstood , deceived

5 - habit of blaming others for own problems

6 - habit of making vague criticisms ( when other are not sure about them whether they helping or putting other down )  , Vague-booking ( to gain sympathy or appreciations )

eg – if anyone upset them - instead of settling or working on situation directly , they Post on social media to air up their anger & frustrations.

7 – Showing Weaponized Kindness –

eg. A is angry on B because B forgot A birthday and then , in turn , “go for extra bash ” to celebrate A birthday ( up to here its ok and good ) , then A make comment - how they could never ignore such an important event.

8 - चतुराई से / गूढ़ तरीके से – making comment intentionally on that situation or topic which other person is uncomfortable ( about weight to fatty , or कोई पडदे वाली बात )

     Back

 

Personality of Person Born on Dates 1 10 19 28

 

Gas Light Part 2

 Gas Light Part 2 

How  Gas lighter manipulate –

Denying or trivializing Victim feeling – GL ignore Victim’s emotions and tell him/her  that you are being too sensitive , irrational , crazy .

Contradicting memories – GL always says that things didn't happen the way Victim  remember or Victim  is making up the things , give contradictory information or change their story, causing the victim to doubt their own memory and perception

Blaming Partner for everything -  GL always blame on Partner 

Twisting truth – GL present lies as truth and manipulate facts in their favor 

Withholding information - GL withhold information from Victim or give false or misleading information to make Victim doubt in own understanding 

Making doubt on sanity - They may tell Victim that you are imagining things or you have mental problem 

Isolating & Controlling Partner – GL try to isolate Victim from friends & family , so that Victim depend on GL more so they can control Victim 

Shifting goalposts -  GL frequently change their expectations or standards , making it difficult for Partner to feel that they never ever meet Gas Lighter expectations. 

Some more tricks they use –

Gas lighters are compulsive liars

fabricate conversations or events that never happened.

Gas lighters will say things like 

“I didn’t say that, that didn’t happen, it’s not a big deal, “

you’re crazy or you’re paranoid when you start to question things.

Say kids are sleeping or studying so be quiet when you questioning

Why overreacting or you’re hypersensitive.

They will tell you bla bla and someone said something about you (which never happened ) just to make you feel like that person is against you or doesn’t like you.

tell you everyone thinks that you are so and so … and they’ll make something up just to make you feel afraid to speak up.

tell you things like “it was just a joke” or I m just joking

tell you that you seem to have a problem with so n so eg- if GL is every time late and then  you are upset about that because it feels like disrespectful to your time which it is, and the gas lighter says “you seem to have a problem with time”.

 

Effect on Victim of GL –

 feel unsure of their own judgment or even reality

feel confused , anxious , they cannot trust themselves

victims to lose their sense of perception , identity , self-worth

 

What to Do If Someone Is Gaslighting You

Keep some distance - Step back mentally / physically from  intense emotions/actions caused by gaslighting ( relaxation techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises will help )

 Save the evidence -  Gaslighting can make you doubt yourself, so it's important to keep a record / evidence of your experiences or situations . Keep notes , save text messages , keep emails to remind yourself of what really happened or even audio video . so that you can look back on them later and remind yourself that you shouldn't doubt or question yourself.

 Set boundaries -  Clearly communicate and set the boundaries that what you will accept or what  not tolerate in the relationship. Be clear that you won’t allow the other person to trivialize or deny your feelings .

 Do not argue on their terms - If someone is making up facts , it won't be a useful conversation. It is waste of time in arguing about what is true instead of getting your point across . They might won by twisting the truth , but you don't have to agree with them if their argument is based on lies and Remember your truth. Just because the other person sounds sure of themself doesn’t mean they are right. The gas lighter may never see your side of the story.

 Prioritize safety. Gaslighting often makes targets doubt their own intuition. But if you feel you are in danger, you can always leave the situation.

 Get an outside perspective -  Talk to a friend or family member about what you are going through. Having another person's perspective can help make the situation clearer to you.

 End the relationship - While it can be difficult, ending the relationship with someone , but ending relationship is the extreme of GL 

 

Gas Light in Relationship

Gaslight

 

Gas Light 

Form of psychological abuse / manipulation in which the abuser try  to make you doubt your own sanity , perceptions, memories, or reality. Abuser might deny things they said or did , make you question your thoughts, or twist the truth to make you feel confused or insecure.

 

“ any person in a position of power designed to manipulate less powerful others to doubt themselves or question their own sanity or memory “

 

“ Gaslighting is a common tool used by narcissistic and abusive spouses to control their partner . when don’t correctly , gaslighting can make a spouse doubt their own senses and memory “

 

Where Did Gaslighting Get Its Name?

 

The term gaslighting comes from a 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton, known in America as "Angel Street" and later developed into the film "Gas Light" by Alfred Hitchcock. In the suspense film –

A manipulative husband tries to make his wife think she is losing her mind by making subtle changes in her environment -  such as gradually dimming the flame on a gas lamp.

Make her believe that she is insane

He also abuses and controls her

Also cutting her off from family and friends

As a result, she starts doubting herself , her feelings , her perceptions  and her memories . Additionally, she feels Neurotic , Hypersensitive and Out-of-control  which is the goal of gaslighting — and the Victim feel disoriented and unsure of what is real  and which isn’t

 

Because this film explained well  about - controlling and toxic actions that manipulative people use and Psychologists and Counselors labeled this type of emotionally abusive behavior - "gaslighting."

 

Why Do Some People Gaslight Others?

 

The typical goal of the gaslighter is not just manipulation, but power and control over the other person and take advantage —typically with the misguided cooperation of the manipulated victim. This behavior is often rooted in psychopathy or a personality disorder such as narcissistic or  antisocial or lovebombing or breadcrumbing

 

to be continued........

Narcissistic Personality Disorder & Antisocial Personality Disorder

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior characterized by

 Five common signs 

1 Inflated or exaggerated  sense of self ( importance )  ,

2  constant need for attention ,

3 self-centeredness ,

4  lack of empathy ,

5  pre-occupation with power and success .

 

( 1.अपने महत्व का बढ़ा-चढ़ा हुआ या अतिरंजित अहसास  2. लगातार ध्यान की आवश्यकता  3. आत्मकेंद्रितता 4. सहानुभूति की कमी  5. शक्ति और सफलता के प्रति अत्यधिक चिंतन )

 

Symptoms of NPD

Constant need for attention, affirmation, and praise

Exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements

Exploiting other people for personal gain

Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of them

Lack of empathy for others

Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power

Obsession with power or success

Sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment

One can recognize NPD by looking for some of these signs  People with NPD  are typically described as –

Self-centered

Arrogant & full of pride

Conceited ( too proud of yourself and your actions & abilities )

Because they imagine themselves as superior to others, they often insist on possessing items that reflect a successful lifestyle.

Despite this exaggerated self-image , they depend heavily on constant praise and attention to maintain their self-esteem.  As a result , individual with narcissistic personality disorder are usually very sensitive to criticism, perceiving it as a personal attack

 

 

 

Antisocial Personality Disorder:

 Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a condition characterized by a lack of empathy and disregard feeling for other people.

Symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder -

 Symptoms can start in childhood , such behavior may include fire setting, cruelty to animals, and difficulty with authority.

They often face legal problem because they don't follow rules and ignore rights of other people .

They frequently act impulsively and don’t think the consequences of their actions.

They can be aggressive and irritable, which may lead to physical fights.

Have difficulty to feel empathy for others .

Poor or abusive relationships with others and they might abuse or neglect their children.

Frequently lie and deceive others for personal gain .

No feeling of guilt and regret about something they did in past or before . 

 

Diagnosis of ASPD

 Symptoms of antisocial personality disorder often begin during childhood,

Disregard for the safety of the self and others

Failure to obey laws

Impulsive behavior

Irritability and aggression

Lack of remorse for actions