Gas Light Part 2

 Gas Light Part 2 

How  Gas lighter manipulate –

Denying or trivializing Victim feeling – GL ignore Victim’s emotions and tell him/her  that you are being too sensitive , irrational , crazy .

Contradicting memories – GL always says that things didn't happen the way Victim  remember or Victim  is making up the things , give contradictory information or change their story, causing the victim to doubt their own memory and perception

Blaming Partner for everything -  GL always blame on Partner 

Twisting truth – GL present lies as truth and manipulate facts in their favor 

Withholding information - GL withhold information from Victim or give false or misleading information to make Victim doubt in own understanding 

Making doubt on sanity - They may tell Victim that you are imagining things or you have mental problem 

Isolating & Controlling Partner – GL try to isolate Victim from friends & family , so that Victim depend on GL more so they can control Victim 

Shifting goalposts -  GL frequently change their expectations or standards , making it difficult for Partner to feel that they never ever meet Gas Lighter expectations. 

Some more tricks they use –

Gas lighters are compulsive liars

fabricate conversations or events that never happened.

Gas lighters will say things like 

“I didn’t say that, that didn’t happen, it’s not a big deal, “

you’re crazy or you’re paranoid when you start to question things.

Say kids are sleeping or studying so be quiet when you questioning

Why overreacting or you’re hypersensitive.

They will tell you bla bla and someone said something about you (which never happened ) just to make you feel like that person is against you or doesn’t like you.

tell you everyone thinks that you are so and so … and they’ll make something up just to make you feel afraid to speak up.

tell you things like “it was just a joke” or I m just joking

tell you that you seem to have a problem with so n so eg- if GL is every time late and then  you are upset about that because it feels like disrespectful to your time which it is, and the gas lighter says “you seem to have a problem with time”.

 

Effect on Victim of GL –

 feel unsure of their own judgment or even reality

feel confused , anxious , they cannot trust themselves

victims to lose their sense of perception , identity , self-worth

 

What to Do If Someone Is Gaslighting You

Keep some distance - Step back mentally / physically from  intense emotions/actions caused by gaslighting ( relaxation techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises will help )

 Save the evidence -  Gaslighting can make you doubt yourself, so it's important to keep a record / evidence of your experiences or situations . Keep notes , save text messages , keep emails to remind yourself of what really happened or even audio video . so that you can look back on them later and remind yourself that you shouldn't doubt or question yourself.

 Set boundaries -  Clearly communicate and set the boundaries that what you will accept or what  not tolerate in the relationship. Be clear that you won’t allow the other person to trivialize or deny your feelings .

 Do not argue on their terms - If someone is making up facts , it won't be a useful conversation. It is waste of time in arguing about what is true instead of getting your point across . They might won by twisting the truth , but you don't have to agree with them if their argument is based on lies and Remember your truth. Just because the other person sounds sure of themself doesn’t mean they are right. The gas lighter may never see your side of the story.

 Prioritize safety. Gaslighting often makes targets doubt their own intuition. But if you feel you are in danger, you can always leave the situation.

 Get an outside perspective -  Talk to a friend or family member about what you are going through. Having another person's perspective can help make the situation clearer to you.

 End the relationship - While it can be difficult, ending the relationship with someone , but ending relationship is the extreme of GL